I wish I could go through this entire divorce… and newly singledom without making any mistakes. I have a friend- let’s call him Bob. Bob and I are close, good friends… friends and nothing more. Unfortunately I allowed myself to get too personal with Bob. Now I had to have a very awkward conversation with Bob and discuss that this is not going to continue…. and put a mark in the “mistake” column. It could have been much worse. Whoops. Moving onward….
a little more about me… January 19, 2011
I have been single for 7 months and my youngest child is 7 months and 1 week…. yes, as you can see the math is plain as day. I hit the ground running after my ex walked out… I was in therapy; rallied the troops of supporters; threw myself into my kids, my job, running, and trying to figure out where to go from here. I went through the guilt of having fun again, the relief of not dealing with my ex’s crap, the guilt from feeling relief, the self indulgent phase (why not get a pedicure, my hair done, a new outfit, and go out on the town EVERYTIME the girls were at their dad’s), the guilt from the self indulgent phase…. now I’m in a place that I love called living. I am trying new things, figuring out what I like which is something I have not thought about that often in a while. I tried hot yoga tonight. Fun, felt great, I have a month trial; probably will not do it anymore after that. I like going out with friends, I like dancing- even if it is in my house (with or without my girls:)). I am learning more and more about myself all the time. And I like who I am and who I am becoming.
I am training for a half Ironman triathlon in August. I cannot wait for the feeling of victory. I cannot wait for my kids to see my cross the finish line. I am looking to move from my safe little apartment that has been my haven for the last 7 months into a house soon. I cannot wait for that either. I love looking at the future and not having a clue what it is going to look like but having the overwhelming feeling that it is going to be great.
Running….and some thoughts. January 18, 2011
To start off… I feel like being a mom, a working mom, and especially a single working mom is living a life laden with guilt. No matter what I choose it is always giving up something else. I have limited time with my girls; but I choose to spend some of that time at the gym because that is what keeps me sane and healthy. I hope that the girls see this as a positive influence in their lives that will encourage them to grow up and be active and healthy. All this to say I cannot help but feel like my life is amazing. I have 2 fabulous children, the ability to run and challenge myself, and friends who are actively involved in my life. Today, these things are enough.
7 mile run yesterday…. 3 mile run today and 30 min swim…. it’s been a good week so far. I also changed my diet a little to include a protein shake. It is working so far!
My other new year goal January 17, 2011
A photo everyday for the rest of the year. Should be pretty interesting!
Work, or something like it. Today is a day of meetings. Not good ones either. loooooong…… tiring….. meetings. Good thing I really love my job or days like these would be overwhelming. So, my goal is to lose 15 pounds in the next 3 months so that when I start official tri-training for the Steelhead Half Ironman, I can focus on just maintaining my weight. I’m going to start trying to drink a protein shake before I leave work, so that hopefully at the gym I will not be starving before dinner. I will let you know how it goes.
I am also going to start gardening this year. So, I am starting to plan what veggies I want to grow as well. Living in Michigan, you start craving fresh veggies other than gourds about this time in the winter…. only to be a little depressed that you still have at least 3 months until anything starts growing! Here’s to sweet potato soup!!
I’m officially a cyclist. January 16, 2011
I purchased a road bike last year, and I feel like it has been a continuous investment since then… I just took a huge leap and bought clipless shoes/pedals for my bike. I am very excited and even made it to spin class just to give them a try. I love them; and cannot wait for the roads to be iceless so I can give them a go on my bike!!
I go to a pretty awesome church that thinks things like health and natural eating are important. I went to a class tonight on cooking and gardening. I loved it. It inspired me to try to cook more food which is something I struggle with. I eat extremely healthy, but it consists mostly of salad as with the girls, one is too young to eat a regular dinner and the older one has eating difficulties, and only eats a few textures. I also want to find a place to be part of a CSA or garden myself. We’ll see what happens with that one!
All of this to say… I am officially training for the Steelhead Half Ironman in August 2011!! My goal is a full ironman in 2012. Here is my second major step to getting there!!
Here’s to a new year! January 1, 2011
Had a great time last night bringing in the new year! Good company, good food, good dancing. All around a good time.
I hate New Year’s resolutions, but alas I think I have made some and they are- I will make more calls and text less. I will enjoy every minute. I will be remarkable. I will take more pictures. I will organize my office. I will take more risks. I will be more grateful.
The thing I hate about New Year’s resolutions is how do I know if I have accomplished these things? By what measure will I be successful? In what areas do I want to be more remarkable? Do I carry my camera everywhere? Do I organize my office once and call it good; or do I have to keep it organized? I want to take more risks, but more than how many?